Sunday, April 11, 2010

I Compete, Therefore I Am

So 3 separate people told me today that I am "glowing". All 3 used the same word..."glowing". I'm not pregnant and it's not the other thing you may be thinking that can mean only one thing: I'm in my happy place! I love love love it here! I have given so much thought these last few weeks as to why I compete, why I started competing and why I want to take a break.

Earlier this year I was considering competing in every Washington state NPC competition this year. I believe there are 7 of them. That's a LOT and doesn't really leave much room for anything else. I realized several weeks ago when I started a fairly large project that I couldn't do the project while preparing for a competition. It was just spreading me too thin, so I put it on hold. As the weeks have passed by I have had several more instances like this where I have had to say: "It'll have to wait until after the competition." And now, I'm just so ready to do something different.

Don't get me wrong: I love to compete and I love the stage and I'm really excited about the competition I'm going to do next summer. I just feel like I've let the competition process consume me to a point where it's not healthy. Even my sister said the other day..."You never just have fun." She's right. I've let myself become so focused and driven that I don't have any fun and it's making me resent the competition process. Now, her "fun" and my "fun" are two very different kinds of fun. But the point remains and she's right on!

I'm not that trapped stay-at-home-mom anymore and I don't need a competition to define me. There is so much good stuff happening now and waiting to happen and I'm ready to go do it! So, 4 more days until I step on stage in all my amazing glory. I can't wait! I'm soooooo excited. I have no expectations for where I'll place - my head is in a totally different place right now. And of course, with Emerald Cup, it's so big and there are so many incredible physiques...well, it is what it is. I'm just happy to look the way I do after 4 kids and 35 years.

Next Sunday my girl Shaney and I are embarking on a new training/diet plan...SUMMER SHRED! A killer workout that requires a lot less time in the gym and a really solid nutrition plan that I already know will work for my body. I'll share the details next week. In the meantime...more water loading tomorrow. Bought my carb-up bread that I'm hoping to start in on on Wednesday...YUM! Can't wait for Thursday night/Friday morning PANCAKES!!!! Yummmmm!

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