Saturday, March 13, 2010

Just Not Perfect

Last weekend I had someone offer to give me Botox for some frown lines I have between my brows. It's true, the lines are there and I tend to furrow my brow when in thought quite often...bad thought or good thought...it just happens. It took a few days before it hit me and I realized that it really struck a nerve with me.

So when I got the offer, I was actually contemplating taking the person up on it. After all, who wouldn't like a little smoothing out here or there?! Although, I honestly never really considered it. Never really considered it a big "problem". Now granted, the person who offered this is in the trade of "fixing" cosmetic flaws, so it's only natural that they would notice things like this. But still.

It kind of took me back to the criticism my ex-husband used to give me. Constantly. Nothing was ever quite right about me and the fact that my entire body "repulsed" him...well, what can you do about that??? The Botox thing really brought all those feelings of not being good enough right back in front of me. I don't need to be perfect, but I certainly don't need people pointing out my flaws, trust me, I'm quite good at doing that myself!!

This has been on my mind a lot over the past week as I've been trying to figure out why it bothers me so much. I realize that the offer was well-intended, but quite honestly, I am so done with men who feel the need to point out my flaws. And the funniest thing is, these men ain't nothin' to write home about themselves...so what the hell??!! I am lucky that when I was telling my friend Shaney about the possibility that I was going to get the Botox she responded with..."You know you're perfect just the way you are, right?" Nothing like a friend who has been around the block with you long enough that can see where the road is leading and help bring you back to the right path.

If it isn't obvious, I'm not getting the Botox. I like my face the way it is...lines and all. And thank you, Shaney, for always being my cheerleader and keeping me on track. Thank you for knowing where I've been, what I've been through and helping me to remember where I'm going.

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