Saturday, December 5, 2009

Letting Myself Go

So I got really sick the other day. The kind of sick that reverts you back to an 8-year-old child, longing for your mother to stand behind you, holding your hair. The kind of sick that has you sleeping on the cold tile of the bathroom floor. The kind of sick that makes a few short hours seem like an eternity leading to your untimely death. Fortunately, it was only a 24 hour stomach virus. got me thinking...I've let myself go. I rarely wash my hair and my friends all think it's gross and quite honestly, so do I. I go all morning without eating on most days because I am so busy at work which then leads me to eating things when I get home that I normally wouldn't. I'm probably overtraining. I'm not sleeping nearly as much as I wish I was. My night sweats have returned, making it impossible to get a solid night's sleep. And I've decided that my stress has increased my cortisol causing me to gain body fat in my belly and lower back. Hah!

Yes, all this I decided yesterday as I was laying on my death bed. You get sick and you try to figure out where it came from. What'd I eat? Who did I touch? (trust me, I touch plenty of sweaty, germy folks over the course of the day) What did I do? Yep, so I determined that I don't take care of myself and it compromised my immune system. Overly dramatic in my sad, sickened state of mind. But at least it got me thinking and it made me really realize that I have dropped the ball with myself.

What am I going to do about it? Well, first of all, I'm going back to what I know works for me nutritionally. I know the exact foods and meal timing that keeps me where I like to be, while allowing for growth. I will force myself to sneak in a quick meal every 3 hours. I am going to map out my weekly training and not go beyond it, unnecessarily. And I am going to wash my hair more often...or at least rinse and condition. :)

I guess it's easy with all the stress of life and our busy schedules to forget to take care of yourself. I can tell you that I don't feel very good about myself right now and it's because I'm neglecting myself. I'm not doing the things that I know make me feel good about myself and being in my own skin. Nothing like a little wake up call to make yourself realize that you're important too. Fortunately, for me it was only a 24 hour stomach virus and I wasn't really on "death's doorstep."

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