For me, training has been my outlet for all the emotional turmoil and stress that has been going on in my life. Granted, there have been many days when it was hard for me to get in the gym. The days I just wanted to keep sitting on the laundry room floor, crying. There were many days when I couldn't get thru a set without crying. But I pushed thru and I am really proud of that.
Some days I feel like I have failed in many areas of my life and my training/nutrition is the one thing I have that I really can be proud of. It's the one part of me that I know I've accomplished all on my own. Yes, I've had helpers along the way. My teachers, my cheerleaders. I certainly didn't get here alone. But no one else can take credit for me being at the gym at 4:30 in the morning or preparing all my meals each day. When I start to get down on myself for things that have "gone wrong" in my life, this is what I hold onto.
I'm making some great strides. I know that everything happens for a reason. I know that all of the choices I made were for a purpose. I don't have any regrets and I'm learning to stop beating myself up for the choices I've made. I have 4 amazing children who were meant to be here. I am finally doing what I've always wanted to do...not just working at a job to pay the bills, but doing what I am best at and what I am passionate about.
There are many days when I feel completely and utterly overwhelmed by my life and the task at hand. But I know that "this, too, shall pass." I know that my children won't be at these demanding ages forever and I know that at some point down the road I'll have time to fold laundry again. But considering that I am working, studying for my certification, parenting 4 children alone, running the household by myself and training 2 or more times a day, I have to cut myself some slack. That's a pretty full plate and we're actually managing pretty well.
And on a happy note: I am excited that my new employer has offered to sponsor me in my upcoming competition. A huge financial burden lifted!! And I plan to do them very proud when I step on stage on November 7th. I am truly blessed to be able to work in an environment that supports my passionate to compete.