Sunday, August 23, 2009

Blazing My Own Trial

I went hiking yesterday with a "friend". It was a perfect day for hiking - 70 and overcast in the morning with afternoon sun. Being a Saturday, the trail was, of course, crowded but a fun escape for sure. Before I got married I hiked a lot. Sometimes 5 days a week during peak hiking season. It's always been very therapeutic for me and a great place to sort out whatever might be going on in my life.

Yesterday we were headed back down the trail and I was the "follower". It was pretty rocky terrain and I noticed that I was following in my friend's footsteps. Choosing whatever path he chose to step. At some point on the way down, I became the leader. It occurred to me as I was no longer following someone else down the mountain that I was choosing a path that maybe my friend wouldn't choose. I liked my path...deliberate, well thought out, efficient. When I used to hike before I got married I mostly hiked alone. I loved to run down the mountain. Not really a wise idea, but to get to the bottom safely, you have to think about your every move. Yesterday reminded me of that time - when I was alone and fearless and just "going for it." Being the "follower" I was much more cautious but as soon as I was the "leader" I felt like myself again.

It's funny how I've been a "follower" for nearly 8 years now. Letting someone else lead the way, call the shots, tell me what to do. Allowing someone else to make my path for me and make my decisions. I liked the girl I used to be - the fearless one who would run down the mountain, blazing her own trail. I have missed that part of myself and want to reclaim it, never to give it up again!!

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