My son, Brenden, is 5 1/2 and will start kindergarten this fall. He is whip-smart, but he is like all 5 year old boys - full of energy, discovering independence and challenging just about everything the parents say. It's a rough age, but it is fun to see him learning so many new things and really turning into his own little "self".
Yesterday Brett & I sat down with him to explain to him what was happening...that dad is living somewhere else and mommy and daddy are not going to be married anymore. He took it all in like it was no big deal, but then at the end, broke down. To be expected, of course. Then the questions followed...
"Will you still be my dad?"
"Mom, are you going to get married to someone else?"
"Am I going to have a stepdad like Natalie?"
"Am I still gonna see my dad?"
"You guys don't argue that much. Why can't you just stop arguing and get along?"
All very good questions that are difficult for us adults to answer. A little later in the evening Brenden was at the table eating cookies before bed and looked at me with watery eyes and said..."It might be gooder for you, but it is worser for me. Did I say that right?" He was telling me, it's better for me because we won't be arguing, but it has made life worse for him in that his dad is not living with him. He's right. What could I say besides...yes, Brenden, you're right. It is better for me and worse for you. I can't deny him that.
I can see the sadness in his big blue eyes and I don't know what to say. I don't know how to ease the pain my son is feeling right now and it kills me. This is the moment when I know that had I any doubts about my decision they would come to the forefront right now. I still don't doubt myself. I know what I am doing is right, but I also know that getting my son thru this is going to be tough. I will be honest with him, I will be strong for him and I will do whatever I need to do to get him thru this.