Pride

Today is the day before the 2009 Emerald Cup. It's a crazy-busy day for me, but seeing how I've neglected my blog for both shows, I wanted to make sure I took time "in this moment" to blog about it. Competing is sort of like giving birth in many ways. All the experiences leading up to the big day and then after that you don't really remember things as vividly as you did in the moment. Like on July 27th 2006 how freaking miserable I was sitting under the ceiling fan in our living room wishing my twin babies would vacate my body. I really can't remember the feeling, exactly. So anyway...here goes...

I have only felt this level of pride in myself a few times in my life. Certainly each time I gave birth to one of my healthy children and today as I look in the mirror, it's very surreal. To know that this body once housed 4 children, okay, not all at once, but 2 large ones at the same time. To get to where I am today has been a lot of hard, but fun work and I feel so fortunate to have the health, the amazing husband and kids and friends who support me in this journey. I didn't get here by myself and I'm not "there" yet. This has been a team effort from my husband, Brett, our kids, my awesome coach, Dave "Yoda" Patterson, my trainer/training partner Jon, my ever-patient friend and training partner Butch, my personal photographer and waxing artist, Julie Norton and my backstage hero, Kristie. And all my other phenomenal friends who have cheered me on...Shaney, Janette, and so many more. I've been really blessed to be connected with some amazing people in this industry who have freely offered their time and expertise to help my growth in this sport...specifically, Elaine Craig and Christie Skelton and as always, my coach, Dave.

This has been a hard few weeks. It's been very stressful on me and stressful for my husband and kids in it's own way. I've never been so driven to push hard, harder and FINISH. Champions do not quit, they dig deep, they find it and they BRING IT!!!! I've had to chant this to myself many a morning on the stepmill. My body is tired. My head is ready to go back to my family and back to my friends and be present as a wife, mother, daughter and friend for a good while.

I am currently depleting my water and honestly, I'm pretty certain that this is how they torture POWs. No water. Full sweats. Lots of cardio. Sit in sauna. Yuck. I just want to drink a huge glass of ice water...or muddy water...whatever it is as long as it's wet. But I will say, I look good. I will very well get my ass kicked, but one thing I can guarantee you is I am bringin' it. I only got what I got and that's all I can do. I am amazed at the growth I have experienced since October's shows. I owe so much to my friend Jon who trained me and built my diet, all for love of the game. :) And I owe him for turning me over to "Master Yoda". I would not be here without these guys.

Tonight is rehearsal and two coats of spray tan. Game on, baby, BRING IT!!! After tanning is PANCAKE dinner!! Thanks to all of you who have supported me along my journey and thanks to those who are anxiously awaiting to see how I progress for the fall competitions. This is a great sport and I am truly blessed.