Friday, March 6, 2009

Crunch Time

I am really anxious today. Just feeling like I'm not going to be ready in time. I am doing everything Dave tells me to do. I am busting my ass as hard as I possibly can and I am so locked into my diet it's not even funny. But I still feel like there are areas of my body that are just holding fat for dear life, namely, my abs and super iliac (that's the lower back, you know, the junk that hangs over the jeans). My weight has not budged since Monday and while that may very well be a good thing, as I seem to be holding my lean mass incredibly well, it scares the crap out of me. Dave wants me to weigh in 12lbs less than what I weigh today when I hit the stage. Granted, a lot of those pounds will drop when I pull my sodium and water, but still.......I worry. I think I am just getting nervous because I want this so bad and I want so much to come in leaner and better than last time...just scared...

I am heading to Renton tomorrow to see Dave again. I'll be 3 weeks out exactly. I am almost certain he will yank some carbs to help speed my fat loss, but we'll see. I don't think I could stand another minute of cardio. I am so bored with it. 90-100 minutes every single day. And to think I used to do this kind of cardio day in and day out, it was my "normal" workout. I will be more than happy to drop all this cardio on April 18th!!!!

Oh yeah, and I'm tired, which in addition to the diet and the fears just makes me emotional and a crabby bitch. But...I am staying focused. Eyes on the prize. I want this THAT BAD!!!!

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