I was reading a blog this morning in light of the recent "red cup" drama that pointed out the fact that it is easier for us to think about a paper coffee cup, to become consumed by a paper coffee cup, than it is to care about other people. Most specifically, hurting people.
It got me thinking about my own social circle and the way I have personally witnessed people respond, and how I have responded myself, to people who are in painful, broken situations. Over the last three years, I have had many friends who have, in the midst of my deepest pain, stepped up and showed me more love and care than I ever knew was humanly possible. I have also seen friends fade away because they could not face the brokenness I was dealing with.
It hurts when people we love can't handle our pain. It hurts when
people we thought would be with us through anything, fade into the distance when we need them the most. I remember when this first happened with a couple of people in my life, I was confused and I did not understand. I needed them and when I needed them the most, they left. But as time has passed and I have learned more about how people face pain and suffering I have realized that not everyone can face our pain with us...and that's okay. I have learned that for some people, our pain is too painful for them.
It's easy to stand beside someone when the issue is something silly like the design (or lack thereof) on a paper coffee cup. It's easy to face the trivial, frivolous things in life with our loved ones. It is not easy to face trauma and tragedy with our loved ones. Doing so requires us to dig deep and to pour out when we know that the person we're pouring into cannot reciprocate during the crisis. It's a sacrifice. I think it's one of the ultimate sacrifices in relationship.
Three years later, I know my friends in a much different way. I know that I have people that would do anything for me, would walk through anything with me. That is an amazing feeling and an enormous blessing. I also know that there are people in my life that love me, that just don't have the ability to face more than a "red cup crisis" with me. Not everybody can walk through the fire and that's okay.
*I'd also like to give a shout out to my ex who is one of my biggest blog fans! Heyyyyyyy! Wassup!!!