Tuesday, June 22, 2010

A Good Friend = Soul Therapy

Divorce changes friendships. Sometimes it feels like wearing the Scarlet Letter. Once you're divorced, you're no longer in the same category as your married girlfriends, the other moms or even the single, childless women. Suddenly friends are "too busy" or they are frustrated by the demands of your single-motherhood. It's inevitable, I guess, that divorce changes the friendships just the same way it seems to change almost everything else in life.

I've been blessed with some incredibly amazing friends over the course of my life. As with all relationships, some friendships faded away and others have been long lasting and stood the test of time. I'm very selective when it comes to friends. I'm very private (yeah, there's actually a lot that goes on that I don't blog about) and therefore, I'm very careful about who I share my "stuff" with.

I met up with one of my "old" friends a couple weeks ago. We spent a few hours together and it was probably the 3 most "feel good" hours I've had in a very long time. There is something so comforting in being with someone who knows all your "stuff" and still loves you anyway. There's something amazing about a person who has told you when you considered stepping on stage as a mother of 4 to do a figure competition: "You can DO this" and then again when you contemplated ending your marriage: "You can do this, too!" There is something so powerful that comes from a friend who won't let you give up your strength. The person, who, at your weakest moment tells you time and again that YES, you ARE strong and you can do this. 

I've come to realize that a good friend is like therapy for my soul. Each time I leave my friend, my heart feels light and filled with a happiness and contentment that is hard to describe. The power of a friend to reflect back your dreams to you, to act as your compass when you may be struggling to find your way...I think that is a power unmatched by any other kind of relationship.

My friend and I were reflecting back over the last year as each of us had dealt with incredibly stressful, life-changing events. We were both walking through the fire and unfortunately, we were in two separate burning buildings and weren't in a place to be able to carry each other, but the good news is once we got out the other side we were able to pick right up where we left off. I think that's the best thing about a true friend...they understand when your heart is in too much pain to give anything away to anyone else and they won't just walk away and leave you behind. To my friend, you are an amazing gift in my life and I am truly blessed by you.

If you find yourself somebody, who would meet you at a stump
On a rainy Sunday morning, before the sun is even up
Who will stand right there beside you
Fight any fight you're in, then you've got one good friend
George Canyon

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