Friday, June 4, 2010

Figuring It All Out...

...Or trying to, anyway...

My body is tired. My mind is tired. I have spent the last year dealing with one change after another, one emotional turmoil after another and I have pushed myself through it each and every time a new challenge has presented itself. I competed 3 times over the last year after filing for divorce. And while my last two shows were definitely less-than-stellar appearances on stage, I still put my body through the hard core training and dieting extended periods of time. I'm tired and my body is begging for a break!

I am very good at dealing with and managing my stress levels, but I think a person can only take so much. I woke up the other morning and I had dug my finger nails into the palms of my hands from clenching my fists so tightly during my sleep. I can't remember the last time I had an amazing night's sleep where I didn't wake up drenched in sweat in the middle of the night or just wake up with something on my mind. 

I had a "double ah-ha" moment today...I need to do two things and it's not up for debate. I need to RELAX and I need to have FUN! I have been so strict with my diet and training over the last two years that I haven't had time to relax or have fun. I'm not saying my diet and training are out the window, but I definitely need to stop constantly pushing my body to the limit. I need to give my body time to rest so that when the day comes when I want to compete again my body is well-rested and ready to gear up for contest prep training.

I make myself feel like backing off and resting is the equivalent of failure. There's a part of me that knows that's not true, but the warped part of me feels like I just need to push myself through it. We all have a breaking point and I'm pretty sure if I don't heed my body's warnings now I'm going to meet mine sooner rather than later. I'm not sure yet what my "balance point" looks like, but so far, this weekend is going to be all about resting, relaxing and doing whatever we feel like doing, not what we feel obligated to do. Over-trained? Most definitely. Time to dial it back and recover and discover living again!!!

No comments:

Post a Comment