SPENT!

I am, admittedly, that girl who refuses to ask for help, got it all under control, until I absolutely break. I try to make it look easy - whatever it is I'm doing. Single-parenting 4 kids - EASY! 2 hours of cardio a day - EASY! Low carbs, water depletion - piece of cake! Getting up at 3:30am to go to work - no problem! Uh yeah, not so much. It's all hard and it's all a TON of work and I am stubborn as hell and rarely ask for help when I need it.

Yesterday was a long-ass day. It's really hard dealing with 4 kids ALONE on any day, but on a day when you're functioning on very little sleep and working an active job and doing 2 cardio sessions and a lift on top of all that it's even more challenging. The girls had gymnastics yesterday afternoon and after a full day at preschool, that usually wears them out. By 5pm they were truly little monsters. It was not pretty. Kicking and screaming - full on tempter tantrums x 2! Ah, the joy of twins.

While I adore my kids, love my job and thrive on my training, some days it all just takes its toll. Single parenting 4 children is no easy task. People ask me all the time: "how do you do it?" And I smile and say "I really don't know, I just do it." But the fact is, it's really hard and I can honestly tell you that very often I wish there was help. Not necessarily in the form of a man, but just someone to help. An extra set of hands - to laundry, help with meals, cleaning, etc. I've had to be okay with letting a lot of things go. My bedroom is complete chaos and it drives me crazy, but right now, it's low priority and I have to be okay with that.

I know that these hard time, like most others, will pass. I know that I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, moving from one day to the next, making things happen so that this will pass SOONER!

I will confess, I got a little out of control yesterday. I was at the gym, on the stepmill at 3:45am. I did my back training at 9am when I had an hour off at work. Came home, studied, did laundry, cleaned the kitchen, did my Valentine's decorating, took the girls to gymnastics, came back home, changed and went to the gym to do arms and more cardio. I got to the gym and was so irritated by all the people everywhere I bitched and moaned, bagged my arm workout and hit the stepmill. I was sweating like crazy and it felt wonderful. I needed it. The point is, I obviously had way too much on my plate. I didn't need to do two lifts in one day and I probably could have opted out of a second cardio, although it did feel good.

I was so spent by 8pm it was a good lesson for me to look back at the day that I created and realize that I need to be more selective about what I put on my plate.