The last couple days were a little rough for me, emotionally. I think partly because I didn't see the emotional breakdown coming. If I'm prepared for it then I'm really good at putting on my "brave face" and not letting the world know that I'm falling apart on the inside. But Friday morning as I was getting ready for work I just couldn't hold it together. I had to text my boss and ask him to give my hours to the guys. I trained one client that morning and broke down halfway through the hour.
I spent most of the rest of the morning crying and just letting it all out. Then I had coffee with Butch, which was just what I needed. He's the one person that really knows how bad it was and the one person who can tell me "you did the right thing" and I know he's absolutely right. What helped me the most on Friday was when he told me: "You made a decision for your kids that they couldn't make for themselves." That stays with me. When I think of how tense things were in the house, how unhappy we all were, how miserable Natalie was, constantly being criticized and treated as an outsider, I am reminded again that where we are now is the right place.
After I left Butch, I went down the street to meet Elaine at another Starbucks. Talk about igniting passion - that is what this woman does best!! Talking with Elaine about some of my plans for the upcoming year got me all fired up and put me in a very positive place. One of the lessons I have learned over the last year is how important it is to surround yourself with positive people who can encourage you to stretch and grow. I'm so fortunate to have had so many of these people come into my life this last year.
Today I am still a little bit emotional, but not nearly like I was on Thursday and Friday. And mostly, I am so hopeful about what lies ahead for me I can hardly stand the excitement! I feel like I'm finally in a place where I can start to forgive myself, put the past behind me and look ahead towards the bright future.
"Hope is not a dream but a way of making dreams a reality."
Watch me make MY dreams my reality!!!!