Holding On

Just a couple more days. When I wake up I will be 48 hours away from leaving my house for the competition. I keep telling myself..."you're almost there, so close, hang on, you can do this." Today has been really emotional and I'm not really sure why. Probably the sheer fact that I am beyond tired both mentally and physically. I'm also feeling really alone right now and it makes me sad and weepy. But, as always, I will power through this just like everything else and smile all the while.

I started dropping my water today and I don't like it. I'm thirsty. My body is mad at the water trick I've played on it. I don't know what's worse: carb depletion or water depletion. I think water is worse.

I did 65 minutes on the stepmill in full sweats this morning. Then I went to Elite and had Alex train me, doing a "circuit/depletion" workout focusing on arms and delts. I was definitely depleted at the end of the hour and grateful to have someone to push me through. I've missed having a training partner this go-round. For the first shows and until the beginning of March I had Butch. And leading into the spring shows I had Jon to train with me. And now it's just...me. The other night when I was doing legs I found myself longing for Jon. Sort of how you want your mom to hold your hair back when you're throwing up? Sorry, gross analogy, I know, but it was that same sort of emotional feeling. Having someone to push you and give you that verbal support at the end of the road is really helpful.

Tonight I went back to Gold's for another hour of cardio, again in full sweats. This time I chose the eliptical as my torture device. Finished off with some ab work and came home to start carbing up just a little.

Got my nails filled today. Got my brows waxed. Julie Norton waxed my arms and back. Did my last tan. I still need to get to Christie Skelton's to get my suit fixed and figure out what I'm going to do with my hair. Oh crap! My toes need some help too - no money for a pedicure so the fake toenails will have to do. Three bucks well spent.

Oh yes, and I got called by the school at 3:30pm today - Hannah's fever is back. So she'll be home again tomorrow. The timing of this couldn't be more perfect.

I like a challenge:

Sick child with the flu week of competition - bring it!

Soon-to-be ex husband emailing constantly about frivolous matters - bring it!

Start new shift training real clients this week - bring it!

Go anything else???? I'm ready! Nothing is going to stop me from doing this show.