Lost

Last night I was a trophy girl for Elaine at the Emerald Cup for the bodybuilding show. It was fun, but boy, I was really just so tired from the previous week that it was more of a job than anything. Elaine has done so much for me that it was the very least I could do to help her out. And it was a lot of fun seeing Dave's routines and being able to hand him his trophy.

I hadn't eaten since 4pm that afternoon, so I swung thru the McDonald's drive-thru and picked up a medium chocolate shake that I have been craving for weeks. I sucked that thing down so fast. I think that means I have to go back again to get another one so I can savor every sip. Haha! Back at the gym this morning to do...well, cardio, I guess, and not really sure what else. Fortunately, I ran into Butch and he managed to point my wandering aimless self to some bicep and triceps. Polished that off with 45 minutes on the stepmill. Seriously, if one more person tells me that cardio is bad for building mass I am going to scream. Training is kinda like parenting. There are several ways to do it and have successful end results, yet everybody still seems to think that it's their job to voice their opinion about how you should do it. And being new to the sport is much like being a new parent...everyone feels even more compelled to offer up their unsolicited advice. It's very, very annoying. And for the record, I ran into a competitor last night that is very obviously on a bulking cycle and I guess when I see what some do to bulk it makes my decision to take the longer path of "lean bulking" much easier.

Okay, so this is about me being lost, isn't it? I feel totally lost. I don't need to pop supplements with every meal. I don't need thermos before I do my cardio. I can (to a degree) eat what I want and I don't necessarily have to weigh things now and I can venture away from tilapia, oats and asparagus. But then I encounter the issue of "what" to eat. I could eat whatever I wanted...if I chose to. I don't have to go tanning everyday. I don't have to run back to the gym for more cardio every afternoon/evening. While it's very freeing, it's also a very lost feeling. I know that over the next couple weeks I'll find my footing and won't feel this lost feeling I have right now. But in the meantime, it's a very odd feeling trying to figure out "what next". And don't worry...I already know the answer...just taking a few days off...:)