Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Wordless Wednesday - 11.14.12

He'll be 9 tomorrow. 8:48pm tomorrow night to be precise. 8lbs 3oz, 21" long. My boy. The only boy on my side of the family...the golden boy.

It is hard for me to write this tonight. As a mother, my heart aches. I was called to pick my son up from school today because he had "lost it" and was out of control. It wouldn't be such a big deal if it was the first time, but this is something that we have been struggling with since he was in kindergarten. I don't know how to fix it and that breaks my heart and frustrates me and makes me angry. Not at him, but at the fact that I don't know how to fix it. I don't know that any of us (his family) do. His dad and I are taking him to the pediatrician for a consult and to see what direction we need to go from here.

As I was looking through pictures of Brenden's first few days of life I remembered the special bond we had during his early years. I was working full time and my employer let me bring him to work with me...everyday for 10 months. I had him on Friday and was back in the office to do payroll on Wednesday. :) He was always my little buddy. Always. I didn't expect it to be this way when he got older.

This is very raw right now. It would be out of character for me to write a post that was all sunshine and rainbows because that's not reality. Regardless, I love this kid fiercely. I would give my life to spare his as any parent would. But sometimes being a parent really just sucks. The feeling of helplessness and not knowing how to make things better really, really just SUCKS.

My boy is amazing. He is wicked smart. He is funny. And he is so capable of being a kid that is fun to be around. We will help him turn it around!

Happy 9th Birthday "Little B!"

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