Sunday, November 20, 2011

No One Like My Jules

There's that saying...people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I call those lifetime people my "lifers". I have several of them. They've been on the "friend roll" for longer than I can remember. They know me at my best. They remember me and loved me at my worst. They know my deep, dark secrets, they've seen my closet of skeletons and they stick around anyway. They call my bullshit when it needs to be called out and they encourage my successes and my strengths. I know, with these friends that no matter what time or distance may separate us, they'll always come back around again. These are the friends you could call in a crisis even if you haven't spoken in years. You always pick up right where you left off.

This is Jules. The first time we met we had an instant bond. We met at a neighborhood bunko function. We were different than the other moms...we were the anti-moms...and we knew that our uniqueness connected us. From that first time we met we were insta-friends. I felt safe with Julie. I felt like I could be me and that she would accept me. And she always matter. I the years I've known Julie we've both been through the shit. More shit than most people will ever admit to and maybe more shit than people will allow themselves to go through. Unfortunately, we both went through our deepest shit at the very same time which made it impossible for us to be there to hold each other up. How do you hold someone else up when you're totally falling apart yourself? But I always knew we would circle back around...and we did.

I told Julie not long after we met..."I'm not staying in this." Julie watched the weirdness of my marriage and patiently supported me as I lived through it until I was strong enough to get out. When I showed her a figure competitor in Oxygen magazine and said..."I'm going to do that"...she didn't look at my post-partum-twin body and tell me "get real, you can't do that". Nope she supported me.

Jules is that friend that you walk away from and feel completely filled up in every way. She is that friend that believes in you no matter what. She is that friend that reminds you of who you really are and what you are capable of when you seem to have forgotten. She is that friend that you know will love you no matter what. She is the selfless friend.

I drove through Julie's old neighborhood yesterday (she used to live across the street) and it ht me hard how much has changed in the last few years, how much we have both been through. The streets don't look the same, the houses now seem to be these perfect little facades for the imperfect lives that live within them. As the moment brought on sadness, I also realized that we have both become stronger and happier and better. And the sadness is more about Julie's physical distance than what has changed in our life circumstances. I don't think either of us would go back.

With Thanksgiving on the horizon I was reflecting on what I am most grateful for this year and right at the top of my list is my Jules. To have a friend that fills you up so completely is truly one of life's most special gifts.

Reason, Season, or Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
— Unknown

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