It's been a tough few days. Heck, it's been a tough [nearly] 13 weeks. I am frustrated at how long it is taking my body to get back to normal. I am mad at myself for the things I did that got me here. I was doing cardio on the eliptical this morning at the gym (had to give the step mill a break as my left knee is in serious pain) and was reflecting back on everything that my body has been through over the last 3 months. I've done things in an attempt to help my body that have actually done just the opposite and made matters worse. As I was going over all this in my head I got really pissed and was about ready to just say...fuck it! To hell with my diet, to hell with my training. And then, just as quickly as those thoughts came to mind, I remembered one of my favorite quotes and knew that of course, I always have one more round.
"Fight one more round. When your feet are so tired that you have to shuffle back to the center of the ring, fight one more round. When your arms are so tired that you can hardly lift your hands to come on guard, fight one more round. When your nose is bleeding and your eyes are black and you are so tired that you wish that your opponent would just crack you one on the jaw and put you to sleep, fight one more round remembering that the man who fights ONE MORE ROUND is never whipped." ~James J Corbett
Sometimes I feel like there's only so much more I can handle. It seems as if the last few years have been one "battle" after another and I'm just tired. I'm ready for a break. But I know that these challenges have been thrown my way for a reason and there is something wonderful and amazing that I am going to learn from them. And so, I realized just as quickly as the thought of throwing in the towel came to me that I don't back down. I stand up and fight. Every single time, I fight. It's what I do, it's what I have always done and there is no way in hell I'm going to let this minor set back stop me from getting what I want and getting to where I want to be!
It's so easy to get discouraged when things don't go the way we plan. And in this case, right now, not only are things not going according to MY plan, but they are taking for-freaking-ever!!! As I said in a recent post, I am an instant gratification kinda gal. I want what I want and I want it right now. My frustration and discontent with not getting my way is being directly focused on...ME. I have been so hard on myself these last few months and I know it is only compounding the issue. Not only am I under an immense amount of stress and pressure, I'm being totally mean to myself. That ought to work out well for me. Not so much. So many amazing-good things have happened to me in just the last week and yet I sit and sulk wondering why I'm in such a rut. I'm not in a RUT!!!!!
Time to focus on being nice to ME and really focusing on what is going RIGHT in my life. It only takes me a couple seconds to realize that there are far more things going absolutely RIGHT in my life than not. When I take a look back at where I was a year ago it's easy for me to see just how much right there is and how blessed I am with all the amazing opportunities I've been given. And so, I'm going to keep on fighting my fight because I know that I can conquer this obstacle in my life just the same way I've conquered all the others.