I've spent some time lately thinking about the people in my life. I think it's true for everybody...some people come and some people go. Relationships grow and change and evolve. Sometimes the changes put distance between two people and other times they help us to grow closer together. As I look back at the relationships over the course of my adult life it is easy for me to see the people that have been on my "team" for the long haul. Those people, who, even if we have not been close in proximity, they are always close in my heart and I know they are always in my corner. You know, the people who "knew you when" and still know you now. I have been blessed to have many dear friends over the years.
I believe that every relationship we have is for a very specific reason and purpose and occurs so that we can grow as a result of that relationship. Well, growth, only if we're open to it and if we're willing to do the work for it. When I think back to people who have been in my life for a "season", I can see from each and every one of those relationships the gifts that person brought to my life, the new things I learned about myself or just about life in general. I am truly grateful to the people who were with me through some very challenging times in my life...I have been "carried" by some very amazing friends.
What I've noticed about myself over the years is that I have had a tendency to migrate toward people who are controlling, critical and judgmental. I grew up with this, so it feels very familiar to me, which is probably why I've settled for it for so long. But I've noticed that ever since I decided to get divorced, my tolerance for these types of people has grown less and less and now, I just have no room for it in my life, whatsoever. Zero tolerance!! And actually, I find that I take pity on those people now because I've learned that their need to criticize and judge and control has nothing at all to do with anyone but THEMSELVES and their unhappiness with themselves.
I've also learned that as one relationship fades away, it makes room for a new relationship to bloom and grow. This last year has been a time of transition for me and I have been saddened at times by the way some of my friendships have changed as a result of my divorce and new "single" status, but I've been so blessed to have met so many wonderful people this year who have inspired me to grow and become more. And I am eternally grateful to my "rocks" who loved me then and love me now.
As I've grown over the last year I've redefined what kind of person/people that I want on my team. I do just fine judging and criticizing myself, so I don't need people around me to do any of that. (That's another area I'm working on, because, frankly, I don't need ME criticizing me either!!) I am so proud to be surrounded by loving, inspiring, positive people who push me and make me want to be simply AMAZING!!