Demons...continued...

As I mentioned in my last post, post-competition is always a challenging time for me. It typically takes me a couple weeks to settle back into "regular" life and become okay with having a normal body again. This time has been particularly challenging for me because I did a diet that was new and different for my body...the protein/fat/no starchy carb thing. I figured I would be able to just jump right back to my usual diet (moderate carbs/high protein/low fat) with no issues. WRONG! My body totally revolted, well, and I can't exactly say that I've been "moderate" with the carbs, or even clean, for that matter.

The last few days I've been having to have some serious conversations with myself (come on, I'm not the only one who talks to myself...silently) in an effort to cut myself a little slack. So, here's the beauty of keeping a food log...I can look back to last fall or last summer when I was eating a diet that really gave me the results I wanted and go right back to it! That's exactly what I'm doing now and I know that my body will just fall right back into place, drop the extra weight and I'll be feeling much better!

But here's a thought I really didn't think I would have...I won't be sad if I lose some muscle. I always say I'm never going to build a physique that I don't like to look at in the mirror and lo and behold, I don't like my new size. Maybe that means I'm not truly cut out for doing figure and that's okay because I know that competing for me was sort of a means to an end...a way to mentally and physically get myself through an extremely challenging life change.

I know that I'll compete again, but I don't think I'll ever compete like I did this last year and a half....7 competitions. That's a lot! I don't like the yo-yo effect and for someone like me, it's too much of a head trip. Not to mention, I would like to use my discipline and my desire for more focused training for fitness-related ventures that will actually MAKE me money. :)

I'll leave you with one last short thought...guys, take note!!...

I was at the gym last night talking to a good friend of mine and was telling him that I was struggling with the mirror right now and he says..."Yeah, cause you were skinny and now you're fat." Uh...now I get why you're pushing 48 and never had a long term relationship, bud!!" Guys...never, ever...I repeat, NEVER...tell a woman she is fat. Very, very bad idea. Bad.