Good, but Overwhelming

This weekend I am getting ready for the month that lies ahead. It is a very exciting time, yet I'm feeling incredibly overwhelmed and feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders yet again. I have faith and I know it's just a matter of getting thru this time, but it is overwhelming in the process. I've never said or expected this to be easy. I know someday I will look back at this and it will all be a distant memory and I will be so proud that we got thru it. But for now...

Tuesday is my first day of work. Fortunately, our training days are half days so that will allow me to ease the kids into the new routine of school, daycare and work. I still don't know what my work schedule is going to be (mostly depends on what time of day is the best money-makin' time) so that uncertainty doesn't help either. I've got the daycare all figured out for the most part, but now trying to come up with a way to pay for it.

Nothing like a hungry, single mom of 4 to motivate a girl to work her ass off to be the top trainer in the gym. Game on, kids! Not to mention, I've got the best mentor in my back pocket and the most amazing friends to keep my drive up. I do rave about my friends a lot, don't I? :)

I know it will all get worked out and everything will get handled, but it is the uncertainty that makes me anxious. In fact, I think I had a mini panick attack yesterday. I almost took a Xanax midday but a good chat with Kristie got me over it and calmed me down.

Even though this is a really, really exciting time and the beginning of a new chapter, it's still very scary. Once I get my footing I will feel much better.